After seven years of more or less faithfull duty and replacing every component imaginable (including the computer case itself), we figured it was time to get us a new PC. The old one could then move to the studio and do music stuff, and the one that is in the studio at the moment could make a dear friend very happy. All we needed to do, was put a new DVD gizmo in the old one.

Piece of cake, right? And a win-win situation if ever we saw one!

The old PC decided otherwise. First, it decided to blow up the motherboard. No big thing, we simply got us a new one and spent 30 minutes to get the old one out and put the new one in. So far, so good! But then Windows decided it was time to throw in one of those famous features – this time it was the “There Is No DVD Gizmo And I Can’t Find The Drivers For It As Well So Leave Me Be, Stupid Human” feature.

A problem that can easily be solved by reinstalling the OS, for which one needs a DVD gizmo. Catch 22 meets Murphy! What to do, except digging up an axe and splitting the darn thing in two halves? King Solomon would have done that, but he didn’t have computers in his days so wtf does he know about it?

We decided to fool the machine. Downloaded us a Win98 SE bootdisk, told the PC we wanted CD-rom support, inserted the XP Upgrade installation CD-rom and started burning white sage, sacrificing black chickens and chanting ancient incantations from before the beginning of time.

Spirit of the Wanderer of the Wastes, Remember!
Spirit of the Planet of Time, Remember!
Spirit of the Plane of he Hunter, Remember!
NINIB, Lord of the Dark Ways, Remember!
NINIB, Lord of the Secret Passages, Remember!
NINIB, Knower of the Secrets of All Things, Remember!
NINIB, Knower of the Ways of the Ancient Ones, Remember!
NINIB, Horned One of Silence, Remember!
NINIB, Watcher of the Ways of the IGIGI, Remember!
NINIB, Knower of the Pathways of the Dead, Remember!
In the Name of the Covenant sworn between Thee and the Race of Men,
I call to Thee! Hearken and Remember!
From the Mighty Gate of the Lord of Gods, MARDUK, Sphere of the Great Planet,
I call to Thee! Hearken and Remember!
NINIB, Dark Wandered of the Forgotten Lands, Hearken and Remember!
NINIB, Gatekeeper of the Astral Gods, Open Thy Gate to me!
NINIB, Master of the Chase and the Long Journey, Open Thy Gate to me!
Gate of the Double-Horned Elder God, Open!
Gate of the Last City of the Skies, Open!
Gate of the Secret of All Time, Open!
Gate of the Master of Magickal Power, Open!
Gate of the Lord of All Sorcery, Open!
Gate of the Vanquisher of all Evil Spells, Hearken and Open!
By the Name which I was given on the Sphere of MARDUK, Master of Magicians,
I call Thee to Open!
IA DUK! IA ANDARRA! IA ZI BATTU BA ALLU!
BALLAGU BEL DIRRIGU BAAGGA KA KANPA!
BEL ZI EXA EXA!
AZZAGBAT! BAZZAGBARRONIOSH!
ZELIG!

While I write this, we’re many hours (and critical updates with lots of rebooting) later and it seems we’re almost there! With any luck, I might even be able to stream again today or tomorrow so I won’t have to cancel any more gigs!

Oh happy day!

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